Session 00
"This is Dante. He has anxiety." - Everyone
"I passive-aggressively read at you." - Dawn
"This one is (checks the label) Susan! Susan is a fine vintage." - Red
"I know this looks bad..." - Robin
"..." - Robin
"..." - Robin
"..." - Robin
"That was it. That was the whole sentence, wasn't it?" - Red
"Ah yes, that was the family vacation where Dante was crying the whole time, wasn't it?" - Tek
"That does not narrow it down." - Rook, Li, and Quin
"I have allergies..." - Dante
"Oh right, I forget that you allergy-sob." - Tek
"My eyes water..." - Dante
Session 01
Robin: "I hate … everything."
(In response to finding out the funeral reception is at the Thelbane.)
Katie: "How fast is Crab Gramma walking?"
"Grandma. Ma'am. Crab Gramma." - Robin
"Cramma." - Kai
"Wait, what gender are they?" - Stick
"I had them down as 'they.'" - Jeremy
"Grandcrab." - Kels
Quin: "You're going to need a bodyguard, because you're second in line."
(Robin makes a bunch of noises while he's thinking.)
Robin: "Oh no."
"Bleys is quite attractive." - Jerremy
"Yes, they are ascetically pleasing. Very symmetrical features." - Rook
"Rook read that was considered attractive in a book somewhere." - Kels? Red?
"Do butt grabs count as marriage proposals?? Because, if they do, I need to stop that immediately." - Robin
Valefor: "This isn't one of your kids, is it?"
Tek: "Dear god, I hope not … No."
"We could all do something fun for the rest of the evening." - Robin
"..." - Rook
"..." - Dante
"..." - Robin
"Damn it, I hate to say it, but... where's Tek?" - Robin
Tekhetsio: “You seem like you’re in an answering mood…”
Harlequin: “You seem like someone who wouldn’t want to take advantage of that.”
Harlequin: “Who gets stabbed on the day of a funeral?! Come on!!”
Lilja: “Have any of you ever heard of love? It’s a four letter word, Tekhetsio, you should know it!”
"Marco." - Jeremy
"--Polo! Ah, damn." - Red, muted
(later:)
"Marco." - Dawn
"--Polo!" - Stick, also muted
Quin: "Wait, you do scrying?"
Tek: "I do … a thing … that could be … considered … scrying."
"Tek whispers to the card 'Is that you, Grandpa?'" - Kai
"Will you love me??" - Red
“Oh - oh aunt carol, oh no.” - Kai re: erotic trump deck.
Rook: “Oh, it’s a place card- oh, it’s a forest of dildos.”
Harlequin: .. “I guess anything can grow on trees.”
"And, it being Dante, he's actually relieved and happy to see Tek... So ha! Take that!" - Kels
(takes a broken piece of mirror to study) - Rook
(also takes a broken piece of mirror to study) - Tek
"...You know, cleanup might go faster if we used a broom." - Dante
"It means we all might be illegitimate" - Rook
"OH NO!! WOE! WHAT EVER WILL YOU ALL DO??" - Tek
Kelsey: "When in doubt, tea."
Dawn: "When in doubt, with Robin, booze."
"I remember why I never talk about family. Especially the last twelve hours, they've really been... well, it's one in particular, really. They're a real asshole, and it's just..." - Robin
"..." - Robin
"...But you just got stabbed let's talk about you." - Robin
"Not my girlfriend!" - Robin x1000 times
Session 02
"Oh, I don't think personality is very necessary for a good match." -
"/Kill Bill sirens" - Dante
"I will do my best to get all that I can." - Rook
"Ah yes, Rook's entire life motto." - Red
"You feel an occasional pulsing sensation." - Jeremy
"Ooo, you're gonna have to be more specific than that." - Red
"It's sort of reacting to Tek like, 'Is this danger??'" - Jeremy
"Robin asks that every day." - Stick
"Speaking of stabby, where are our other brothers?" - Li
"Where were you two off to?" - Li
"Drinking." - Tek
"Stabbing." - Robin, at the exact same time
"Who is Lady Urqhart?" - Robin
"Imagine me, but annoying." - Li
"...My god." - Robin
"You try that, and Tek disappears." - Jeremy
"..." - Rook
"Whoops." - Rook, deadpan
"There is a big different between nostalgia and cruelty, and that's me talking." - Robin
"I won't throw them into a ditch." - Robin(?)
"I don't know, you sound like a ditch-thrower." - Li(?)
"Wow, it's like a six-something-foot tall cat was dunked into a bathtub and then lost the ability to move its face. That's what you look like." - Tek
"That is an accurate description." - Rook
"Whoo, take it off!" - Stick, about Robin
"That's your sister." - Everyone
"So, I will slowly bombard him with flowers--" - Lady Urqhart
"--No. No, don't do that. Really, if 'bombard' is involved at all, it is something you should not do." - Rook
Session 03
"It's surprisingly less flammable than you'd expect." - Tek, about Robin's sweater
"Ooo! More holes!" - Robin, about Robin's sweater
"We could call a medic, or ... get you another shirt?" - Dante, about Rook's friend
"Your magic pants tighten." - Jeremy
"And you get a danger ping." - Red, about Robin
"Like shank him?" - Red
"Yeah, a little." - Stick
"This is why I didn't wear a shirt." - Robin, regarding Tek and Quin accidentally matching
"Are you going to the after-party?" - Tek
"No. That's for young people. Who aren't married." - Li
"Did you hear what the theme is?" - Tek
"No ..." - Li
"It's for Crow's birthday." - Tek
"I am going to the after-party." - Li
"What a shitshow." - Robin
"This is the Hesse family." - Li
"This is." - Rook
"You never know who you're going to run into in Chaos."
"Yeah, like that guy who's all penises."
"So... if I draw the penis-ball, I get points, right?" - Red
“Oh man. What a ginger.” - Stick, re: Brand.
"Hey, if Robin will flirt with the sentient pile of dicks over there, he'll flirt with this thing [the ginger]." - Stick
“Oh right, that motherfucker.” Stick re: Brand
"He's definitely gonna hug this guy, full body ... cock first." - Stick
"Oh! You're here for something else. How egotistical of me. I'm glad I didn't try to smash you into a paste, that would have been so embarrassing." - Robin
"Hey, there are worse things."
"Yeah, like Mr. Alldicks"
"Ah yes, Jefferey."
"We are not entertaining any Alldicks as suitors for Yael." - Li
"It's a small house." - Rook
"I thought you said it was a good size." - Jeremy
"Is that a hand, or are you happy to see me?" - Robin, to Jefferey Alldicks
"There's a struggle going on, the humanoid woman has another person in a headlock." - Jeremy
"...Hi." - Humanoid woman
"Um... should I go...?" - Dante
"There has been an attempt on Dante's life." - Harlequin
"...Ha! I told you Dante was next!" - Drunk Robin to Drunk Tek
"Okay, sober them up." - Harlequin to a Knight
"Uh... I don't really have that spell prepared..." - Knight
"What?? How could you not??" - Harlequin, probably gesturing to their family
"I summon some first-aid supplies." - Kai
"Ah yes, some chloroform!" - Red
"Well, I could turn you over to--" - Harlequin
"STAB SQUAD!" - Drunk Robin and Tek
(long-suffering sigh) - Harlequin
"Tek, you're getting a Trump call." - Jeremy
"I answer it, because I don't know cool, special magic things, like my other siblings." - Tek
(continued ranting about "not passing magic school")
"By the way, Robin is still not wearing a shirt. And just covered in body glitter." - Stick
"Tek hangs up. Throws up. In that order." - Red
"Well, you know... it's kind of weird to just call up your friends and be like, 'Haaa hey guess who had an assassination attempt!'" - Kelsey
"Come on, have you tried to walk around and carry a plate to eat off of at the same time?" - Harlequin
"Some of us have 30 strength and that isn't a problem, so..." - Robin
"See? I've been working on it. I've been doing things." - Tek
"Good job. And I--" - Abraxas
"--TEK'S HEART EXPLODES. Continue." - Red
"Wow, that's actually pretty good detective work for someone who--" - Lilja
"Okay! I'm hanging up now." - Tek
"Oh, Robin's a bottom." - Stick
"A power bottom?" - Dawn(?)
"Noooooo..." - Stick
"No, no." - Red
"Nope." - Stick
"Not even a little bit." - Red
“He’s a service top who just wants to be a pillow princess. That’s it, that’s my whole character, you’ve figured it out. He’s so lonely.” - Stick
Session 04
"I expected better of you." - Lilja, MURDERING Phoenix over Trump
"That was from 24 points of Mom."
"Wow, I don't know how, but I felt my middle name come through that call."
"And I don't even have a middle name!"
"The caterers seem to be coordinating about something, and it's not the canapes." - Jeremy
"I take my sibling, who is the blender on fire, off to the side." - Stick
"They're only smoldering." - Kai
"We've talked about this. All Robin wants is to get stabbed." - Stick
"In any way." - Red
"Robin quips something about 'nice weapon' and it's definitely a dick joke and the audience laughs." - Stick
"They're swinging the Logrus around, trying not to touch Pattern McPatternson over there." - Kai
"Robert Patternson." - Stick
"They were killing Robin, but stealing Tek." - Jeremy
"Ha! Now who's the one who's wanted?" - Red as Tek
"I'm going to shift to human form, otherwise I might accidentally also set the place on fire if I pass out." - Rook
"I'm certain he's interested." - Lilja
"I don't know..." - Marco
"He hasn't seen the notebooks." - Kelsey
"We can't leave the dumbasses alone! If we leave them alone, they'll die!" - Dawn
"Hey! That's what the endurance is for." - Red
"So, should I ask the obvious question here?" - Tek
"He does, and it's 'zucchini'." - Kelsey
"Yeah, call that preening shitlord." - Kai
(Shows the drawing of the Amberites) "And Father Halwood was saying something about 'malefic entities'..." - Lilja
"Sorry, wait. I can't hear you over the art." - Rook
"And Dante has bluescreened." - Stick
"Oh!! I thought Kelsey's camera had frozen!" - Red
Session 05
"It's sort of post-industrial. It doesn't need to be, but it is." - Stick, on Robin's room
"It's like Mandor dressed you." - Red
"Cuz he did!" - Dawn
"I don't think he's available at the moment." - Dante
"--Which is also a nice way of saying I don't know what his current sobriety level is." - Kels
"Robin is more like a small dog, right? He will protecc, but mostly so he can atacc." - Mathew
"Robin is a terrier." - Kai
"Should I start with 'hello' or 'uh-oh?'" - Tek
"Uh..." - Robin
"Uh-oh." - Tek
"Yeah, he's sticking his head through." - Red, describing what Tek is doing with the mirror
"Okay, it's solid." - GM
"Oh. So he does headbutt it." - Red
"Ugh, maybe there's something for me to punch in here." - Robin
"Tek's right there." - Kai, OOC
"I just wondered if we're all going to end up crazy like Robin." - Quin
"I think the first step is to not buy sweaters." - Yannick
"I need to be taken on a date first before I show my weapon." - Robin
"He's a wifi booster." - Kai about Dante
"And a printer!" - Kels
(Kai tells us about a kitten that had a rough life.)
"Five Bad Stuff?" - Red
"Five Bad Stuff." - everyone else
"It's one of those things... it's got a suction cup on one end..." - Kai
"A dildo?" - Red
"The good news is that Robin's two brain cells and the sweater have equivalent Psyche, so no one will know the difference when the sweater takes over." - Dawn
"'What's your character in the Chaos game?' 'A sentient sweater.'" - Stick
“But seriously do you know anything about a redhead with an eye patch and no pants on. Does that ring any bells?” - Robin
“He has galoshes on, if that helps?” - Tek
“He has galoshes on.” - Robin
"You guys have a serious God problem." - Rook
"Cockblocks all the way down." - Dawn
"Not the fun 'all the way down,' either." - Kai
“Yeah, he treats you like you’re a big deal.” - Jeremy, about Bleys
“Hot. I’m so lonely.” - Robin
"It's congenital." - Jeremy
"Hang on. That can't actually be the word I just heard." - Red
"I want to create an NPC. She's a Cadaval. Her name is Columbina." - Mathew
"Little of Column A, little of Columbina." - Stick
"Use witty banter. And dick jokes." - Rook, utterly deadpan advice for wooing Robin
"All pants are tearaway pants if you believe in yourself." - Kelsey
"I'LL FIGHT YOU!!!" - Mat, as Robin
"Robin, I just met them!" - Mat, as victim
"Soooo, ten minutes, then?" - Mat, as Robin
"Goblin child hatching from an egg in my head now!!" - Kai
"Noooo Tek don't leave us for your dragon family!" - Stick
"Show that he's DTF (down to fight)" - Kels
"Unless you get death lords." - Rook
"...Excuse me??" - Tek
"Nevermind." - Rook
"No no no, let's go back to that." - Tek
Session 06
"Will he take him back?" - Dante, not even there
"I'm waiting for Tek to be responsible." - Abraxis
"I'll take his tests for him!" - Dante, not even there
"How would you feel about being a monarch?" - King Swayvil to Rook
"What's the worst Robin could do?" - Someone
".... (audible shudder)" - Mathew
"Selfie mode! We need help." - Dawn(?)
(learning how the Privy Council works)
"Great, it's a group chat." - Mathew
"Great, whoever's loudest and types in all caps wins." - Dawn
"That's why we're on the Council." - Kai
"My love language is Suhuy." - GM
"Boy, I suddenly wish my character had any Psyche. I'm just eating a plate of shrimp." - Stick
Robin: "I have a bottle of wine in both hands - Thank you Li."
Lilja: "Edward Wine Hands!"
"Tek cares about people, just maybe not in the same way that other people care." - Red
"I mean, I care about my tablet, but not as much as I care about my mother." - Kels
"Exactly!" - Red
"People are just tablets to Tek." - Kels
"No, no no, not at all... some people are cellphones, or popcorn makers, or..." - Red
"Trust the 40 Psyche person." - Kai
"Hey, I'm no slouch in Psyche." - Dawn
"Trust the 40 Psyche person." - Kai
"Go choke on Jeffery!!" - Kels/Dante
"Then, they disappear. Good news is the fog is gone!" - Jeremy
"We did it!" - Dawn(?)
"I don't trust the Inquisition as far as I can throw them." - Li
"...P.S. I'm not good at throwing." - Li
"We call that bad stuff." - Kai
"Bad stuff" - Everyone else coughs, any time it comes up
"Giant Magic: the Gathering Trump deck there." - Stick
"It's not even tournament legal." - Dawn
"It's extremely tournament illegal." - Kels
"Hey, Rook argued with no one" - Kai
"You flipped me off like seven times!" - Dawn
"That's because you started it." - Kai
"Yeah, they're a bunch of tentacles." - Jeremy
"I know where those are going." - Mathew
"What did I miss?" - Stick
"Robin is getting anally probed." - Mathew
"Tuesday." - Stick
"I know you're going through something emotionally... but if you feel funny, like something is trying to get you, that's important." - Harlequin
"So it looks like he's talking to his dick." - Red
"So you're throwing up on the Serpent." - Jeremy
"Been wanting to do that for a while, huh?" - Someone
"Hey, when you go through that many years of religious school..." - Red
"So it looks like..." - Jeremy
"Salmon and corn." - Red
"Oh. A hug. Okay." - Rook
"Just let it happen." - Robin
"You want a trump of THIS place?" - Miriam
"Yeah, it's for a date night, you'll love it." - Robin
"It's called the Titty Twister." - Miriam
"Yeah, it's for a date night, you'll love it." - Robin
"I mean Dante is over here looking like a fucking LARPer." - Kels
"What about Valefor?" - Marco
"I'd say Valefor is like a brother to me, but I have actual brothers and I'm less close to them." - Dante
"I have many hobbies. Some of them are not remembering where I am, or when I am, or who I'm talking to." - Rook
"Robin's not going to cry! He is a big strong man with 30 strength!!" - Stick, maybe crying
Session 07
"What is dirt if not decomposed garbage?" - Dawn, talking about Robin being born in the Season of Earth
"There's a pit filled with black goo." - GM
"Oh, so no unicorns?" - Dawn
"My understanding is that thing at your waist is an object of power." - Quin
"Well, yes." - Robin
(not THAT thing)
"There's not a one-way connection." - Quin
"Is there a two-way, or a three-way?" - Tek
"Heh." - Robin
"You just wanted to say three-way." - Quin
"I absolutely did." - Tek
“Huh.” - Harlequin
"..." - Robin
“You’re just gonna say that aloud and go back to eating your tiny sandwiches?” - Robin
"Adventure is just a tragedy that didn't happen." - Kai
“Well it’s not going anywhere, I can tell you that - he says, lying.” - Robin/Stick.
"You know you don't have to answer a Trump call?" - Dawn
"Yeah, but my luck, it'd be one of you all on fire." - Kai/Rook
"If I'm on fire, I'm calling Dante." - Dawn/Li
"If I'm on fire, I'm stop, drop, and rolling. Y'all are weird." - Stick/Robin
"Any other questions while we're here, Rook?" - Dantaylion
"Running through questionable questions..." - Kai
(Pained sounds of agonized thinking) - Rook
"...No. No, everything else would be really awkward." - Rook
"Time is a flat circle." - Kai
"Welcome to Chaos." - Kels
"No shrimp! No shrimp!" - Li, remembering the Serpent Incident
"Putting the cry in crisis." - Mathew, on Robin
"What happened?" -
"She hugged Rook." - Kai
"Oh, yeah that'll shake you up good." - Red
"Dante hugs Rook all the time and he's fine." - Kels
"Have you thought about thinking outside of the dick?" - Kai/Rook
"What?" - Stick/Robin
"Ya want some food?" - Rook to Caine
"This is the closest Rook gets to a date." - Dawn
"It's been a long time since we had any suspicious deaths." - Caine
"But you have had suspicious deaths." - Rook and Dante at the same time
"Tek, you feel agitated." - Jeremy
"No shit." - Red
"I'm not sure how mentally acute she is." - Li, about Robin's Not-Girlfriend
"Wow two burns at once." - Red
"I had two elder brothers who died for the 'good of Amber.'" - Caine
"I wonder if they're in the deadlands"--"Oh that's terrible" - Rook and Dante at the same time
"There's two kinds of people." - Red
"I don't know what Bleys did to piss you all off." - Jeremy
"I think the answer is Robin" - Kai
"I'll just whip my deck out." - Dante
"In public??" - Stick
Session 08
"Sounds fun, and then it's just sticky." - Stick
"T-shirt for Robin." - Kai
"A party with a Bleys-shaped hole." - Stick
"Isn't that Robin?" - Kai
"He already hates the one he's done. Not enough to stop, though." - Stick on Robin and Bleys
"It's a post-apocalyptic utopia." - Stick
"Post-apocalyptic utopia?!" - Dawn
"Yeah, there's no people." - Stick
"What's your sign? Interests? I'm really easy." - Robin
"The entire bar nods." - Red
"Then there's the laugh track." - Stick
"Would you like to talk and have food." - Rook
"I love food!" - Fiona
"Well there is apparently some here." - Rook
"I was wondering where to find it." - Fiona
"Have you seen your brother's sword... actual sword, not an entendre. I've been spending too much time around my family." - Rook
"I suggest not looking at my brother's weapon too closely... again, not an entendre." - Rook
"I'll make sure he practices proper weapon safety." - Fiona
"I'm sure he's... a skilled swordsman." - Rook
"Technically, I can lay an egg." - Rook
"You too, huh?" - Tek
"Running into a fuckable clone of himself is Robin's quicksand." - Stick
"Wow, that's a sentence." - Red
"Welcome to the kitchen. We've got cakes and scones!" - Jeremy
"I was hoping he'd wrangle Owlette." - Kai
"Moist Owlette?" - Dawn
"No, I don't have a back hoe. No, I don't have a front hoe either-- Why are you laughing?" - Abraxas
Session 09
"You notice there are a large number of anthropomorphic animals." - GM
"How many is a large number?" - Stick
"How many anthropomorphic animals is too many?" - Dawn
"You're on a boat, between worlds. They don't have alcohol here, only a drink called Yum..." - Jeremy
"--Hang on, I need to catch up with these notes." - Kels
"I contribute my power and energy." - Kai
"I sit there and look pretty." - Stick
"Oh, wait, you said they had no alcohol there?? Then yeah, Tek definitely looks unhinged." - Red
"Are they anthropomorphic helicopters that want to pound you in the butt?" - Dawn
"The odds are becoming high." - Jeremy
"Tek, that wine was on the radiator." - Rook
"I don't care." - Tek
"That wine is hot. And it's a white." - Li
"You see Crow running in place, not actually going anywhere." - Jeremy
"Well... that sure is a coat-sleeve-stuck-on-a-doorknob, isn't it?" - Robin
"What is with the flesh helicopters?" - Robin
"Have you heard of Kahlua?" - Li
"I think I've met her once." - Tek
"Rook has a visitor to their ways. It's Bleys." - Jeremy
"Lilja suddenly turns into bees and no one knows why." - Dawn
"Aaaaaaa!!" - Tek, with Lilja on the other side of Shadow
"We didn't even know she could do that!" - Rook
"I have instinctive shapeshifting. I change based on the situation. Bees!" - Li
"But Robin, we're brothers..." - Crow
"--Okay, now it's Tek's turn to suddenly become bees." - Tek
After some discussion of not having courting and marriage customs where spouses are eaten
"I think I've been to that restaurant." - Bleys
"Oh, you've been to Vinnie's?" - Rook
"Oh, that's what happens at Vinnies?" - Dante, a little shocked
"Yeah, that's why we don't take you there." - Rook
"That's to make sure you don't get eaten on the first day of marriage." - Rook"
"That's not a thing here in Chaos?" - Bleys
"Not without it being prearranged beforehand." - Dante
"That was a joke." - Rook
"My brother is here." - Rook
"Well, I wouldn't want to interrupt family business." - Bleys
"I doubt it's for business." - Rook
"Pleasure?" - Bleys
"Yikes, not with that tone of voice." - Robin/Stick
"Bleys is pretty pleasant." - Dante
"Which one?" Robin/Stick
"The one who just walked out of here." - Dante
"Yeah, it's like 'where did these naughty tentacles come from?'" - Jeremy
"Wow, I picked a weird time to come back to the conversation." - Kels
"With Robin, it's always some homo. Much homo. Advanced homo." - Kai
"It's like a disease: 'advanced homo.'" - Stick
"One had purple hair!" - Dawn
"Which one?" - Red, about Li and Tek
"One looked like a princess!" - Dawn
"Which one?" - Red, still about Li and Tek
"We're not immortal." - Rook
"I haven't died yet." - Li
"I also have this rock to sell you. I haven't died since I've had it. Also, it protects you from tigers. No, wait, that's been debunked." - Rook
"Depends on the size of the rock. You could jam it in their mouth." - Li
"That's what fists are for." - Rook
"Depends on how much you like your fists." - Li
"Depends on what your fist is made of." - Rook, made of fire and knives
"Aw." - Kels(?)
"Aw." - Stick(?)
"Aw." - GM
"Did you feel left out?" - Kai
"Maybe." - GM
"Ceiling snake is watching your snake." - Red
"That's why he needs those galoshes." - Kai(?)
"Why do they keep their coins in the gutter?? This is a terrible place to keep them!" - Tek
Session 10
"We'll cover all the shackles in furry fabric before we show Nef. They're the fun kind!" - Li
"What about this blood on the floor?" - GM, as Nef
"It's fun blood!" - Li and Rook
Mandor: ”Ah. Would you like something to drink?”
Lilja: “Certainly. I assume you do.”
"The Goop Sea. I regret saying that." - Kai
"Some consider your existence an offense." - Abraxis
"I've heard that before." Tek
Re:Shadow Storms
Kai: "It made an impact."
Red: "Yes. Several. Throughout his body."
Kai: "Wolves and Bavaria. Together at last."
Mirelle: "Caine? CAINE? I still have the scar from when he tried to teach me knife fighting WHEN I WAS FIVE!"
Rook: "…That’s when you learn knife fighting."
Jeremy: "He pulls out his deck and drops all his cards."
Red: "He pulls out his WHAT??"
Session 11
"Amber is sort of threatening itself using us as the knife it's pointing at its own throat." - Kels
Dante writes out his horrible morning for Iron Scarab, since they can't talk/read lips
"That's rough, buddy." - Iron Scarab
"Not to be a dick, but Dante's seen Caine's. You don't want it." - Dante about Caine's Trump deck
"It ties the room together. All four of them." - Dawn, on Rook's "hallway"
"Both of you stop. You know what I just did to your stomachs? I can do that to your mouths." - Li in Mom Mode to Caine and Bleys
"Mandor tosses his balls ..." - GM
"*snickering*" - all the players
"What happened to the sweater?" - question posed to Dante by several NPCs when they saw he had the sickle
Session 12
“I got all the information I wanted out of him and I didn’t even have to turn him upside down and shake him.” - Lilja, re: Dworkin.
“You’re getting another Trump call - you think it has Michigan plates.” - Jeremy.
"Well. Maybe we have an even bigger God Problem than we thought..." -Rook, to Bleys
"Why is there a chromatically different Rook in my office claiming to be Crow?" - Quin
"He's out?" - Dante
"How did he get out?" - Dante
"Out of where?" - Quin
"A ghost room?" - Dante
"Wait, he's a ghost?" - Quin
"Yeah, he's SUPER dead." - Dante
"Rook is in danger, I just know it." - Crow
"Rook has grown a lot while you've been gone." - Dantaylion
"So they've stopped exposing their brain to powerful energy constructs as a pastime?" - Crow
"Okay, that part has not changed." - Dantaylion
"Why are you leaving?" - Kraken?
"Because this is bullshit." - Rook
"If this is an objectively better reality, you should be able to convince me." - Rook
"I will. Drop your defense, and I will." - Kraken?
"So Shadow is like Zeno's Arrow?" - Rook
"I know not of this Zeno nor archery." - Kraken?
"I thought I saw Crow wandering the halls too." - Yannik
"Oh, right. His ghost is here. It's a whole thing." - Rook
"Oh then you don't have to worry about being Margrave." - Yannik
"No, no, no. His ghost is here. He's still super dead." - Rook
"We may need to up the timeline on the murder." - Li, on being informed that Crow broke himself out of his ghost cell
"Nothing in this house can be small or simple." - Li
"Ooh, pretzel." - This game's equivalent of "I got distwacted."
"I think a parade is something that it's better to ask someone about first, rather than just spring it on them." - Dante
Session 13
"I'll be here all night. That's a threat." - Kai
(Rook and Crow are talking about Crow having some sort of disguise for the Margrave's party.)
"Bold of Rook to assume I'm inviting Crow, but okay." - Li/Dawn
"You remember the god binding swords, here is where they are today. You'll be shocked by how they look now!" - Kai
"Number 7 will surprise you!" - Dawn
"9 out of 8 young people seem to be so occupied with their duties!" - Lady Urqhart
"Well, it's good that the youth of today are so devoted to their work." - Li
"If any of the authors have the surname Barriman, or the name is an anagram of Barriman, that's going on the top of the stack, because if Dworkin wrote self-insert fan fiction, I need to read that." - Li
"I'm going to find a spouse for the obelisk." - Li
"Yeah, he's an upstanding citizen. Strong foundation. Good relationship material." - Mathew
"Maybe Jeffrey?" - Rook
"Yes. That would be so cute! I will pair Alldicks with the Shaft. My work here is done." - Li
(Mathew literally takes off his headset and walks away.)
"That's it. I made Mathew walk off. I win the game!" - Dawn
"I'm not sure I can commit to a forever with a book I just met." - Kai, speaking for Quin
"Someone appears." - GM
"Oh, for fucks sake." - Rook
"You recognize him as Brand." - GM
"Oh, for extra fucks sake." - Rook
Session 14
Rook asks the creature eating our decorative armor its name, and it begins backing away.
"Oh no, not names! My nemesis!" - Dawn, speaking for the creature
"We have a problem with sentient items that want freedom." - Rook
"Sentient … items?" - Caine
"Oh, he wasn't on that conference call, was he?" - Dawn, OOC
"What is going on here?" - Harlequin to a guard who was detaining Yannik
"Preventing everyone from entering that part of the Ways. Per your orders?" - Poor guard
"Dad, no!" - Rook approximately one thousand times
Session 15
"Pounded in the butt by my cosmic artifact" - Jeremy, re: the Tingler title for this.
"You can't un-Jimothy something." - Li
That's the stupidest name ever. I'm not using it." - Dante
"Jimothy." - GM
"I'm sorry, what?" - Kels/Dante, every time, until Jeremy calls Jimothy Owlette
"Fuck it, Dante stabs him ... Dante doesn't have a knife, so he stabs him with a pencil." - Kels, when Dante stabs Bad Crow
"You guys jumpstart Owl." - GM
"I'm gonna stab you in at least a dozen of your eyes!" - Rook
Session 16
"The bad news is this appears to be a shadow storm in the middle of our Ways. The good news is this isn't my department!" - Harlequin
"So much for my roast teeth idea." - Jeremy
"So your goal was to get house Anup out of the doghouse." - Kai
Offscreen Quotes
Red: You know the snack table is absolutely there in desperate hope that Rook will remember to eat something.
Kai: It is literally Hadar going "For the love of the Serpent please EAT"
Red: Rook goes 'oh...' digs a hand into the olive dish. Just a whole fistful of olives.
Kai: Yes, yes this is exactly it.
Red: Straight-faced just shoving olives into their mouth.
Stick: (Fistful of Olives is my favorite Clint Eastwood movie)
Red: Hadar wasn't careful once and got them with pits.
Red: Rook's eyes narrow slightly as they chew... spits out pits.
Kai: Hadar :mouth open staring back and forth between the floor and Rook:
Red: Just spits olive pits on the floor from six-something feet up.
Kai: Yep.
Red: The waiter comes back and just finds Robin laying on the table, vibrating with anger.
Red: "Do you need another drink... or five?"
Stick: Yes, them like, "Oh... I'll get the jug."
Red: Jefferey Alldicks was Robin's first boyfriend.
Stick: They mostly just held hands. ... It explains a lot about how Robin holds hands.
Some Teacher: "That's a solid D."
Robin: "Nice."
Teacher: "And this one is an F."
Robin: "F for fuckin'."
Teacher: "You're still failing the class."
Robin: "Aww. :( "
"Once he got an A- on a test at school and cried so hard wailing about being born cursed that he started hiccuping then choking on the hiccups and had to spend the rest of the day in the nurse's ward." - Story Valefor has definitely recounted before.
"YOU TRAITORS" Tek yells at his own eyes as he's crying - Stick
Robin: "Careful, keep being nice and you'll have something in common with Dante."
Rook: "Please... I'm not bringing you tea or asking you over for slumber parties."
Four weeks of game time later...
Rook, literally bringing him tea at a slumber party: "Who could have seen this coming?"
Kai: Pattern, please take me somewhere I'll be happy
Kels: Error file not found?
Kai: You're too sad Rook, even the Pattern can't help
"It's hard to love someone made of fire and knives." - Dawn, about Rook
Carabas replies, "My brother is full of questions that I have no good answer for. Your brother is very bad at improvising cover stories while in a hostile environment."
"Someone tried to assassinate me last week!" Dantaylion protests. "I'm going through a lot!"
"It's because it's something I have, isn't it?" - Rook
"Do I look that petty?" - Tek
"All the time. You look petty all the time." - Rook
"Literally all the time, Tek." - Rook
"Right now Tek. You're petty looking" - Rook
"And I know you think we are mispronouncing 'pretty'" - Rook
"Tek your maybe only friends are a disassociating owl person and a sentient sweater." - Kai
Tek: executes flawless social banter
Rook: ??? gets upset
Stick: I bet Robin makes “show me your deck” jokes about Trump Cards all the fucking time.
Robin: Hey baby, how big’s your deck?
Robin: I bet my deck’s bigger than your deck.
Stick: Would Trump Artistry be “deck pics”? I need to know!
Red: ...I’m so angry.
Tek: I did not go on that trip to Mt Incomprehensible to get no bonding
Stick: oh my god I forgot about the dumb late-night convo that was had where I came up with:
Robin: Listen I just invited him over so I could suck his dick.
Someone: ...
Robin: ...
Robin: I mean--
Someone: ...
Robin: ...So I could... Sss... Ssssuuuh...
Someone: .........
Robin: ...Sssort his deck. Is what I said. You know, just. So many cards. Yep. Sort his deck.
Kai: ... was his deck so thick you sprained your wrist?
Harlequin: “Who gets stabbed on the day of a funeral?! Come on!!”
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